Success - what does that even mean?
What does success mean to me?
Success to you, or me, or the next door neighbour looks different. To your teachers, parents, friends and work colleagues, it all looks different.
Your idea of success will change, develop, take a full swing in a different direction and that is completely ok.
For me, my idea of success from when I was 25 is a whole lot different now I have a family and different life and career goals.
The important thing here is to define what it means to you. Sit with the feeling of success and take some time to document that.
I use this concept with my clients and in the workshops I deliver as I find majority have never stopped to think this and move through their career and life without actually stopping to think - is this actually what I am aiming for, does this match what I believe to be successful.
A few things can happen here..
You can tend to adopt what your parents deem to be successful as your own - this is really common. It is no fault of anyones just a simple reaction to what you have been taught, what has been demonstrated to you or comments and conversations you have had with your parents about your career and life progression. For example, is it expected of you to go to university? Is it expected of you follow a certain career path? Is it expected of you to earn a certain salary range? These expectations can bleed into what you feel is successful, without making it your own or building on your own achievements and strengths to feel into that success.
You can be focusing on what you should be doing rather than what you want to be doing - this can disguise itself as a feeling of success. If you feel that you should be doing that degree to get that result to follow that career path because that is the traditional path and the way you have seen others do it, then technically that is what you should be doing. But really, your heart's not in it, you feel called to follow a different path, defer and take a year off or simply not progress or take that promotion. The concept of listening to your heart and your true desires is something unfamiliar to you so you follow the path of ‘shoulds’ and be labelled successful in all accounts but your own.
Comparison. You look to follow in the footsteps of your friends, colleagues and the highlights on the socials. Your mate got a promotion the other day, your colleagues are taking secondments in higher position and you see someone on facey checking into all these airports travelling the world with their brand new role. They look happy, successful and seem to be getting all the praise. This looks to be the natural progression. This is what success looks like, isn’t it?
All these factors play a significant part in defining success BUT the good news is - this does not need to be your definition of success. You can define it for you and what you want to achieve.
This simple act can make all the difference in the way to show up, take control of your career direction and goals and stop yourself from moving into a profession that does not light YOU up and inspire YOU.
For me, I feel it is about time I redefined what success means to me. I have found that I have been searching outside of myself lately, comparing myself to others and where they are at in their business. I have been looking that their highlights and feeling that I am missing out, not that their level or questioning what the hell I am doing ‘I can’t keep up’.
This is where I need to STOP myself and take a good hard look at what success means to me. Acknowledge this looks different to others and ask myself, is actually what they are doing and how they are succeeding (for them) what I want in my business or life and if my life actually looked like this, would I feel successful.
The best next step is to define what success means, write it down and truly feel into it.
What does success mean for Claire?
2019 - 2021
Success for Claire building a sustainable business. For the next year or so success is working 2 days a week as a Career Adviser at Uni and 2 days a week working as a Career Coach (I love both areas and can feel that they will support each other). By the end of 2021, I will drop my hours at the Uni to focus more on my business. Success is having 2 days booked with clients with a consistent flow of clients, an active and engaged community and presenting workshops on career development and mindset at universities and in highschools. Success for Claire is having the flexibility to drop off and pick up my kids from school and to be able to spend time with them in and around that. Success for Claire is having a sustainable, gentle business that truly supports women uncover their true potential and build their successful career. Success for Claire is continuing to work towards her goals of releasing the stigma attached to people with learning difficulties.
This IS my version of success. If I can work towards this everyday, I will be feeling into build that success and success for ME.
By doing this I already feel so much better about what I want to achieve with my life and how I want to build on my success. I feel so much better about staying in my own lane and feeling into what I want to do. This has been a fantastic task to do to help release the comparison I was feeling.
Give it a go - let me know what you think and how this made you feel.