The comparison project

It has taken me a little over a week to really digest the results, lessons and experience from doing the comparison project. I mainly feel blown away by the simplicity of the activities and how those simple acts made significant difference. 

In the time after completing the project I uncovered a large learning and underlying limiting beliefs around why I compare and what affect this has had on me as a whole. I have compared myself dating back to my schooling as a way of validating my self-worth and smartness. I was so self conscious about being dyslexic and that people would think I was dumb and unworthy that I compared myself to their level of intellgance, test scores and results to mine. This pattern of comparison turns out to be a lot deeper than I ever anticipated. 

My aim for the project was to release the comparison cycle I found myself constantly in so I can stop feeling like I needed to be on everyone else’s level and to connect back to myself. I met that objective. 

The activities I felt made the greatest impact

The main activity I felt really brought me back home and connect back to myself was writing down what success means to me. I felt that this exercise (although I had done it before) made me release when I was in that comparison cycle that what they have… it isn't exactly what I want or doesn’t identify as success for me and I could instantly release that feeling. I remember as soon as I sat down and wrote out my success story, I instantly felt excited, grounded and grateful. It was an instant change in mindset. 

What I would do differently next time 

Next time I would do Day 5 - rubber band exercise in the first couple of days. I felt that I needed to continue this process after the project to get a true indication of the patterns of comparison and how and when I was comparing so I could ask myself why. 

I would add WHY as an activity - to journal on why and why you feel the need to compare. Are there any underlined limited beliefs that may be causing you to compare? For me, it is acceptance of myself and self-worth. Feeling worthy within myself and the work that I do and share. Drilling down on this really opened me up to understanding more about myself, my triggers and how I can move past them and concentrate on my path, my purpose and what it is I am doing here. 

What surprised me? 

How open I was to doing the project. It came about so quickly and the decision to ‘just do it’ was almost immediate. A thought popped up, the idea simulated and then I was like YEP - I really need to do this. 

I feel very proud of myself for undertaking the challenge and opening open to the experience. 

How much this project MADE me connect back to myself and how much of an influence this has had on a whole - my business, how I show up, what I share and how I invest in social media. I guess this is almost an added bonus and doing those activities really did make me tune into myself, my values, my why and what actually matters to ME. So important. 

The thing is I do this work, I journal, I know my why and I know what life I want to create but I was spending way too much time on the externals and trying to get there fast and playing with the big leagues. Doing this work, at this time, when I felt that I was deep in the comparison jungle, that is when it hit me and really hit home. It is continuous development but as you continuously develop, new experiences, learnings and growth happen. That also surprised me. 

My experience since the project? 

A few things have shown up for me since doing this.. 

My ability to snap out of it QUICKLY has been instant

My ability to connect back to myself, my values and my why is front of mind and a really simple thing for me to do - having that real understanding and connection to what I want is really evident - were as previously I would mellow in that comparison cycle for so much longer getting harder and harder for me to get out. 

I don’t check my phone as much and when I am scrolling, I am not as invested. This, I think, is two fold. 1, turing the notifications off on my phone has meant I am not so reactive to it and 2, I understand how this can affect and trigger me that I don’t allow it to happen. I mean, I am not perfect but I am definitely better. 

The processes

Day 1 - removing notifications from my phone. 

Day 2 - wrote down all the ways I compare and have compared in the past

Day 3 - Grounding work

Day 4 - Wrote down what success means to me - my version of success

Day 5 - Popped a rubber band around my wrist and flicked it every time I felt I was comparing. I made note of when, why, how etc (getting a feel to see if any patterns rose)

Day 6 - Asking myself these questions. When do I feel most at home? My ideal day looks like… If I had a chance to speak to a room full of engaged people, my message would be… I believe in…

Day 7 - affirmation of Trust. I trust this is MY path, this is MY story and trust everything is going to be ok. 

Love to hear your thoughts on this. Did you follow along?