Balance.... what is that?
What does balance look like to you?
For me - it is non-existent. A mythical idea that in reality is impossible.
It is surrounding us, this concept that balance is the ultimate and that without it, we are not supporting our mental health. On socials, in workplaces, amongst peers, family and colleagues. And don’t get me started on the judgment that comes into place if you are not ‘balancing’ life the way everyone -out there- tells us they way it should be.
I want to caveat this by saying I do believe there is a space for work life balance and this movement has enabled us/employees to take more control of our mental health and for employers to be more conscious about their employees workload and health.
For working mums, balance can be something we almost laugh at. And in fact, I was having a conversation on my Instagram DMs with someone who commented “Balance, what’s that”.
I hear that and I agree. I am focusing on working mums at the moment because that is where I am at in my life stage and it is more relevant to me now with 3 young children and to……. Balance it all.
For me - it does not work. It is simply non-existent. And the best thing that I did was to acknowledge that and work around it.
Here is what I did. I used the life by design concept and pulled it apart. The life by design framework has 5 pillars they developed that you purposefully allocate what time and capacity you have for each. Instead of using theirs I created my own.
I built my own pillars relevant, important and mean something to me, this includes:
Family
Business
Work
Health
Community (Incl Friends)
Home
These are the areas that I want to spend time in, commit to and that feel good and important to me.
For every life season I am, I will dedicate different amounts of time to each pillar. This changes during seasons (even during weeks) and they are not balanced or even or level. They are uneven, messy sometimes and dipping into each other BUT I am purposeful about what areas are needing more attention, where I can pull from other areas and how long this will go on for.
For example, over the past few weeks, my work (part time job) needed more of me. This meant working more hours and therefore I needed to take from time I had in my business, health and at home. It was conscious about this and so it enabled me to prepare, communicate with my family and put measures into place so I did not go into burn out, overdrive and push myself to my limits.
I have non-negotiables, things I must include in my weeks (note: not days, I don’t like the pressure and do not want to hold my mental health on them, at this season of my life). These include exercise, eating well (I live by the 80-20% rule) and time with myself (this could include a quiet coffee, meditating, journaling or even just watching TV with a glass of red alone).
What I am loving at the moment is community, building new connections with school mums and likeminded humans I have connected with through my business. My business (sometimes this also acts as quiet time alone) and how I am expanding and growing in this space. My relationships with my children and how they are changing over time and seeing them grow into their own.
What I am working on, bringing back one on one time with my husband that isn't based around family, home, sport, extended family. That is us together connecting. We used to do what we called In-house-date-night and I am going to reintroduce and build that connection. Because marriage/relationships/parents can get put on the back burner with kids, work, career, life and it takes conscious effort and to connect back and that is one thing we are really good at. Recognising when we need to reconnect.
Being authentically me. Who I am as a business owner, career mother, mother and human. Removing expectations, comparison and internal pressure and judgment. Just be me. Again, it doesn't just happen (I mean, human) and take conscious, continuous work but I am committed and dedicated to do the work, share the work and support whoever else wants to do the same.
Which brings me to the Finding Balance event supporting you to take back control of your career without sacrificing being a mum.
This event aligns to all 6 pillars building community being a big one coupled with work and family.
I would be delighted to have you join. CLICK HERE TO REGISTER FOR THE FREE EVENT