Fake it till you make it
Firstly, can I openly say how much I HATE this term. It is not only suggesting you are incapable of making it without faking it, but that you have to fake it till you make it. I used to say this to everyone and I would constantly tell myself this. Especially when I felt overwhelmed and out of my depth ‘just fake it till you make claire’ - WHY? Mainly because I was not in the right career for me and ‘making it’ at the time was what I considered to be successful. Really? You have to pass through those moments and come out the other side with a bag full of lessons, passion searching and learning how to center back to what it is your truly desire (what does success mean to YOU) to know the true reason for that career choice. At this time when I was ‘faking it till I made it’ my number one google search was how to find your passion and I was on seek more than facebook. Constantly looking for the next best thing - hands up, if that sounds like you.
Now… back to my point.
Imposter Syndrome as defined by wikipedia ‘ is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a "fraud".’ It is a powerful thing - it can be demobilizing and cut the legs out from underneath you. It does not discriminate.’
I was having a conversation with my colleagues a while ago now about this very thing. One is a student / staff member who is nearing the end of her degree. This is when Imposter Syndrome is in full swing yeah? And she was doubting her abilities, her education (HD student), her understandings and excelling at her placements. She clearly admitted she has imposter syndrome. I commented, this is a fixable thing - I believe you can cure yourself from Imposter Syndrome. My other colleague questioned this, intriguely asking HOW.
I rattled off a few ways - I go into detail about this further down this post - and she said, you need to write a blog on that. And I reacted with, ohhh no - I dont know that much about it, I am not that clever, I cannot possibly write a post on it - And that is when it hit me. Fu@k, classic example of Imposter Syndrome. We all laughed and went our merry ways. But this got me thinking. How else am I unconsciously blocking / stopping myself from showing up? This concept is something I feel so strongly about and have helped clients with but am I actually practicing what I preach? So often you hear, you teach what you need to learn and only now can I deeply resonate with that statement. Before this, I felt I was more so teaching what I wish I had known and sharing my knowledge around my experiences and learnings. This is next level. I need to show up in ways that will feel uncomfortable but the truth.
One of my biggest lessons is to let go of what other people will think. I have come in leaps and bounds this past year, especially releasing the attachment I had to having a learning difficulties and my perception on what others would think of me. I feel I now need to reach another level and anchor into what I want to share, who I want to serve and how I want to show up in this business. Imposter Syndrome will continue to show its face, but I will actively use the strategies I so willingly share with others.
Evidence. Fact from belief. What stories are you telling yourself and is this fact or something you believe to be true? Often the things we believe to be true are not actually true. For example, I have told myself previously, If my employer found out I was dyslexic they would fire me. Is this true? No. But did I believed it to be true - absolutely. Another good one that I find myself saying and I know many of you do the same - ‘I don’t have time to study, learn something new, look for a new job, start a business’ is this actually true? What stories are you telling yourself that are simply a belief. What can you do to change that belief?
Language. Positivity. This is the first step to changing that belief. Changing the language and how you are talking to yourself. For example, using words like can’t, don’t know how, have no experience, does not help or serve you well. Changing your language is not something that happens overnight, it takes practice and understanding of your inner dialogue but for now a simple addition to your language is adding YET to the end of your sentence (this is a growth mindset tool). When you add yet to the end of the sentence it makes you feel like you can do it and get there, it just may take a little more practice, motivation and elbow grease to get there but it is achievable.
Stay in your own lane. Focus on your direction, where you are at and let the comparison go. It serves no purpose to you in your career journey or to conquer Imposter Syndrome if you are worrying and spending too much time and energy on what other people are doing. The job they won and the promotion they got. It is out of your control and therefore not worth your time. Stay in your own lane and focus on what is important to you and within your control.
Mediate. Such a game changer. It truly is. To be able to calm your mind and sit with yourself for a period of time is very powerful. I have found that mediation has assisted in feeling calmer and less reactive to situations. This, in turn helps me come back to myself and my career journey feeling grounded and on purpose. I’m no expert and my practice is not perfect (or consistent) but it is something I do prioritize.
Growth Mindset. Dealing with challenges / failures in a way that you see it as an opportunity for growth and development. This concept and mindset shift can truly support the way you learn and see yourself as an expert. If there is a time you feel out of your depth or overwhelmed, as yourself why and what can I learn to support me and build my confidence in this area? How can I get to a point that I don’t feel this way? And, add yet to the end of a sentence. I cannot do this task, yet. It is so powerful to inspire you to continue to grow, learn and develop.
It is a continuing development and journey to build your confidence, remove yourself from imposter syndrome and feel comfortable in your own skin. When you feel you are ‘faking it’ remind yourself, you earned that spot, you deserve to be there and you are continuing to learn, develop and grow. You have got this! I will do the same.
I hope this helps. Please, let me know if you have any strategies in dealing with Imposter Syndrome.